How to Help Your Child Manage Anger and Frustration in Sports and in Life - 12 Tips For Parents

By Jay Granat

As a result of a brawl at a New York Yankees game, an outburst at the US Open and some unpleasant actions by politicians and celebrities, I was interviewed by Cindy Hsu of WCBS TV in New York. During the interview, I explained what parents can do to help kids learn from these events.

The interview caused me to think more about his problem and what could be done. Here is a list of 14 tips which should be helpful:

1. Parents, coaches and league officials need to set guidelines and rules with consequences for violence, trash talk and inappropriate behaviors.

2. Parents need to model good sportsmanship and the idea of treating others with kindness, dignity and respect.

3. Kids need to learn anger management, self control, frustration management and meditative techniques at an early age.

4. Young athletes need to understand that anger will prevent them from entering the zone and from performing their best.

5. Athletes must be encouraged to respect their opponents. After all, they too are practicing and working hard and trying to do well.

6. You can't always get what you want in sports or in life.

7. Sports can be serious and competitive but they do not need to be life or death situations.

8. Perhaps we need to rethink the idea of winning at all costs all the time.

9. Kids should be encouraged to focus on mastery, discipline, respect and camaraderie as well as on winning.

10. Angry states of mind are not fun and they are very dangerous.

11. Sports reflect the kind of selfishness and narcissism which seems rampant in our culture right now.

12. Let your performance do the talking instead of your mouth or your fists.

Jay P. Granat, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist and the founder of http://www.stayinthezone.com He has written several books and developed several programs to help people perform to their fullest potential at sports, at work and at school. Dr. Granat, a former university professor, has appeared in The New York Times, Good Morning America, AP, ESPN, Golf Digest, The BBC and The CBC. He can be reached at info@stayinthezone.com. His books include Zone Tennis and Get Into The Zone In Just One Minute. He is also the author of How To Get Into The Zone With Sport Psychology And Self-Hypnosis, How To Lower Your Golf Score With Sport Psychology And Self-Hypnosis, 101 Ways To Break Out Of A Hitting Slump and Bed Time Stories For Young Athletes. Golf Digest named Dr. Granat one of America's Top Ten Mental Gurus. He was recently featured in a documentary film on long distance running. Dr. Granat writes a weekly column for three newspapers.

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